econometric's 1st test...how prepared am i???

Yea, today is the friday the 30th, and in less than 2 days i will be having an exam...and lemme tell you this, the exam that i will be sitting on this sunday morning is not an easy subject..it is this killer subject that any normal economics student will dread and the otherwise will love it!!! not that luckily for me, i happen to be on the normal side and of course, its going to be even harder for me as im not good with numbers and calculations...in case you were wondering, the subject is called ECONOMETRICS, yeaa...i can see the "????????" floating in your head...happened to me the first time i was in the class, but im getting used to it now...its not that bad actually when you gave in your whole "brain" while in the class...200% concerntration is required in ECON 3110...you are probably wondering, what in the beautiful world am i doing here posting a new blog when i have an exam on sunday morning??? Well, thats the beauty of this day...its raining heavily and i just dont feel like studying at all....kids, parental advisory in very necessary and if you please, dont try this at home or your college or anywhere else for that matter...anyhoo, im just the type of person who can only study at night...im a nocturnal student...well, most of us are...thats just normal if you are a college/university student...i have no idea how does the question is going to look like on the test paper because in the class, we hardly press the calculators considering the fact that this is a major caculation subject...so, im not trying to be ambitious nor negative here, we'll see how does the 1st test works out for me and we'll start judging after i have gotten back my papers with grades written on it...

HAVE FAITH, IT WILL COME...

As of today, im a 3rd year year student doing her bachelor of economics in the International Islamic University of Malaysia. Back then, i can tell you proudly that im still single...but that was then...now, I can just tell you that i still am single...dont get me wrong, im not saying that i hated being single at this point of my life...im still proud of myself but there's this tiny part of me inside who wants to feel the joy of love. I know that i might sound kinda desperate but that is just not it.I have great single friends who have stood by me since we were in our 1st year and we were all soooooo proud to be single. As the years gone by, all my single firends are not so single anymore..and then, theres me, who is still single. People around me kept telling me that i seem sooo carefree and soooo content with where and who i am now. They are partially true...i am just like them in many ways...im a human with a heart pumping like any other normal hearts. Seems to them, my heart must've been pumping in a different beat...some of them even came to me and telling me that i have in a way inspire them in my carefree way..how weird is that??? I do want to keep inspiring them but at the end of the day, i know that i am the one who's going to cry without anyone next to me...and it is going to hurt even more! Well, the truth is...i have loved someone since i was 16...at that time i thought that it was just a normal crush, like the one when you trippped over a stone...little did i know that this was more than just tripping over a stone...he was my classmate and my biology lab partner. We went on being normal friends and classmate..he always ask for my add maths homework...so that he can copy and take credit for it...its a no biggie for me because most of it i copied from a friend too...I only did like 20%-30% of the paper...haha, those good old days...and then in biology class, its a total boredom throughout the class...so, we will kill the time by talking about things and most of it are beyond stupid...but it works tho..soon after i finished my high school a year after that, i thought that i was going to be over him in a few months or maybe after we have obtained our SPM results...the month after the results are out is when i have came to a realisation that this is not just a tripped-over-a-stone crush...this is me falling hard for him!!! Actually, i did not react to that because i was soooo afraid that my feelings for him would ruin our friendship...we went on being friends like normal people for about 6 years or so...in a way, i do want him to know that i do have feelings for him...but i wasnt strong enough to hear what he might say towards my feelings. Then, last year in his 21st birthday (1st of sept) i have decided to tell him..God knows how scared i am at that moment...it took each and every ounce of strength in my body to tell him that i have been having feelings for him for the past 6 years. And i did it...let me tell you the relieve that i felt after that...imagine this, you've been carrying around a huge lorry on your shoulder for 6 good years only this is not on my shoulder and it is waaaaaaayyy heavier than a lorry...a bunch of lorries maybe will do...and he replied to me that he too have had the same feelings for me but there are some unresolved issues of his own that he didnt think us getting together is a good idea...he thinks that he is not good enough for anyone...and not even me...i say that i'd respect that and im only telling this to him because i wanted him to know and not because i was expecting something to happen or establish...after that i have decided that i wont go thru with it anymore...that will be my last conversation with him...but lately, i have been crying myself to sleep thinking of him and sometimes i find myself dialling his number and wanting to talk to him...i just couldnt let that happen because i have a life to get on with...now, i just pray to god that on my convocation day, i want my family to be there and that special someone...the one person who loves me for i am...let him be anyone i told to God...but somehow rather, deep down inside me i hope that, the person is him...the love that i have been holding on for 7 years now since im 22 in 2009 and i will be graduating in 2010 and by then i will be 23...i once read somewhere about having faith in God for the one that you love sooo very deeply...it said, "HAVE FAITH, IT WILL COME"....I just have to believe in God, if He thinks that "he " is the best person for me, there will be no absolute reason for us to not to be together..