LOST FRIEND

However hard you may try losses are inevitable…One day, after an unsatisfactory phone call or after a strained talk at an all-out blowout, you mutter to yourself, "What's wrong? Why am I not feeling he/she longer like a friend? Something has gone…has been lost" WHY?...Why would a once close friend suddenly, or even gradually, turns into lost friend?...Well... Most friendships break for one of three main reasons: a major change such as marriage or a move...neglect...or the betrayal. Lets examine that shall we...


CHANGE
The most frequently and usually friendship is disrupted because of a major change—for better or worse—in the life of a friend. The change factor is part emotional and part practical. Since most friendships begin when both people are going through similar experiences, when something big happens to change the status of one friend (good job, financial success, romantic relationships or marriage), it's human nature for the other to feel some envy—"Why he/ she and not me?". And vice versa if a friend's life is going downhill that is human nature to give up the relationship avoiding contact with a LOST friend...And for sure discovery of new limits on time, energy, and attention is mere practical source of contention between friends. The friend whose life has changed least will usually have to make more accommodations, at least during the initial period of change. Whatever the case, you can count on change to impact even your most treasured lifelong friendships.


NEGLECT
Life is motion…all what is our life has to constantly move forward…we have to work, develop, never let it die out…Some friendships die because they aren't moving forward. They die from stagnation or plain neglect. You promised to call but didn't. You knew it was your friend's birthday, but were too busy to celebrate…Think about it. When we're busy, we only do what comes easy, and even good friendships aren't always easy. Lack of attention and concern is sure to cause a rift. And when it does, it almost always catches us off guard, when we least expect it or can least handle it: when we're going through stressful times at school, work, or home that make us less attentive and less able to respond—which is what caused the neglect to begin with. That's why it can seem that the best friendships break precisely when we need them the most.


BETRAYAL
Betrayal is the most painful reason loosing friend…this is a case when lost trust results in lost friend. Your confidant, who knows your darkest secrets (how deeply you're in debt or your struggle with an eating disorder), has let one of them out of the bag. And what is morel, your close friend has the power to hurt you precisely because he/ she knows you so well; your deepest secrets arm his/her with the emotional weapon that can cut you to the core. And you're left wondering if he/she will do it again...

Lost friend takes leave with a bang or whimper...Those that whimper simply dissolve from neglect, having run their natural course. It is normal to shed friends throughout our lives: when we leave school, when we change jobs, when we move to a new city, even when we drop an aerobics class. Start a new romance, get married, have children, and you probably leave behind a circle of friends...Friendships ending with a bang are more likely the result of an unexpected change or a more dreadful betrayal...


Regardless of how a friendship breaks, with a bang or a whimper, you will inevitably find yourself wondering whether it should be repaired, whether you should do what you can to salvage what is left or just let it go. If you value a relationship that has come to the end of the road, we urge you not to write zour lost friend off completely—at least not just yet. Okay, so you've been burned, betrayed in a way you never deserved. You want to get even. But you have a choice: you can experience some momentary satisfaction by slamming the door shut and keeping it locked with offence, or you can give yourself space and time to cool off and collect your thoughts...Time really does have away of healing deep hurts. Time allows forgiveness to wash away anger and keep us healthy. Returning lost friend and restored relationship can give us perspective on our experiences, deepen our lives. So...every cloud has silver lining...Think about it, WHICH ONE IS CAUSING YOU TO HAVE LOST YOUR FRIEND...I know what mine is.

TRUE LOVE

In most cases we think: this is true love when in fact it's not. But then, if this is not love, then what is it? There are plenty of things that we are confused when it comes to love.

It could be just the basic instinct. The feelings can be passionate and crazy, but in fact both people may want only companionship. And after all the misunderstanding starts, and once infatuated lovers will find out that they have nothing in common and sometimes they dont even know what to talk to each other.

Another variant is when people lack support, care and attention to their person or they are just scared to stay single. Being with someone can be a habit when one simply got used to the other. People call this type of relationship love just by mistake or trying to conceal the true nature of it.

But than, you may start to wonder what does true love look and feel like? "(beats me) Maybe its when 2 people seem to know each other for ages and even in their instinct. They can go on talking and talking and conversation never lacks topics and never gets dull. Or people dont have to say anything because they understand each other without words. And those moments, minutes and even hours of silence are never uncomfortable. True love is when partners complement one another, when they are together, it's peaceful, the whole world with it's suffering problems doesnt exist and nothing even matters.

True love means understanding. One trust another more than him/herself and feels ready to satisfy every little need of the partner. Two people dont stop for a second looking into each others' eyes.

Its said that 2 person truly in love arent looking at each other but in one direction. And this is rather reasonable because they don’t say nothing “this is yours and this is mine” and share everything: friends, enemies, interests, problems and etc. One has his/her own identity but sees him/herself only as a part of the other. Still real love is not a relationship of property. If you really love someone you may say “I belong you” but always be ready to let go if it makes the person you love happy.

Jealousy stands out of the true love. How can one be jealous if there’s so much love and faithfulness? Real love doesn’t long for power, it doesn’t want to hurt, doesn’t want to punish for mistakes, it’s self-sacrificing and ready to forgive other and other again. But it’s wrong to think that true love is always a suffering, it only means that you take a person as he or she is and don’t expect the one you love to be perfect.

True love isn’t supposed to blow your mind, yet it doesn’t tend to get and to possess – it’s a and very special state of a soul.

But the question that true love is still has no definite answer. Do we truly love only once in our life? At what age are we supposed to meet our love? Does it last for a lifetime or just for a while? Probably everyone has his own answers to this questions. The truth is that no one should spend life chasing ideals or building relationships by some model of a true love. One will probably fail and miss the real thing beyond all this.

We should remember that very many things we need to supply our healthy and comfortable living but only the true feeling of love makes life really longer and happier.

MY HEART IS VERY SACRED AND FRAGILE

Have you ever lived long enough to wonder, would there be any living being destined to touch your heart? Ever?? I have had someone touched my heart not using his hand, but by using his words and everything except his pair of hands. While some would tell me that I was lucky to get my heart touched, I for once didn't feel that way. Although I know that I should, in every way feel lucky because people have been waiting their entire breathing moments to get their heart touched by someone, be it a stranger or anyone for that matter. For people who have known me very well, this is very precedented. The heart, to me is very sacred. Once touched, theres no turning back. That is the reason why I prefer my heart not to be touched by anyone. I fear that once my heart have come into the possession of someone, that person will forsake it. Either intentionally or unintentionally. I have to be sure that once I left my heart out in the open for someone, that someone has make sure that my heart is safe in his hands because as we know, hearts are very fragile. The thought of me having to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart and put it all back together like the jigsaw puzzle only the pieces are not consistently sized really scares me. People who have had their heart broken would tell you that this is not an overnight process. It is bound to take up such a long time for the heart to be good and pumping again, only this time the heartbeat would take on a different rhythm. We will grow in the process of healing our heart because the pain that we have to endure in order to stand up, walk and smile to the whole world when inside, we felt like we have nothing to live for. Friends have asked me this soo many times..."why do you build wall around yourself?" the answer to this question is very much simple. I built wall around me because I am keeping my heart in a place where no one can reach it. Safer to do that than to take my chances with the one thing that had kept you alive by beating non stop for every split second of every day. Some might have the impression that I am being foolish. All Im saying is that I did what I think is best for me and Im not saying that it is the right thing to do. What might be best for me, might not be the best for others...its painful of course, but this is the poison that I have chosen for myself. And I have learn how to live with it ever since...what's your poison??