I FEAR...

I feared being alone until I learned to like myself...:
I feared failure until I realized that I only fail when I don't try.
I feared success until I realized that I had to tryin order to be happy with myself.
I feared people's opinions until I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway.
I feared rejection until I learned to have faith in myself.
I feared pain until I learned that it's necessary for growth.
I feared the truth until I saw the ugliness in lies.
I feared life until I experienced its beauty.
I feared death until I realized that it's not an end, but a beginning.
I feared my destiny,until I realized thatI had the power to changemy life.
I feared hate until I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance.
I feared love until it touched my heart,making the darkness fade into endless sunny days.
I feared ridicule until I learned how to laugh at myself.
I feared growing old until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.
I feared the future until I realized that life just kept getting better.
I feared the past until I realized that it could no longer hurt me.
I feared the dark until I saw the beauty of the starlight.
I feared the light until I learned that the truth would give me strength.
I feared change,until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly.

TRUST GOD WITH YOUR DEEPEST LONGING

m0st pe0ple carry a dream.perhaps y0u've been carrying f0r s0o l0ng that y0u've l0st all h0pes 0f it ever c0ming t0 pass. the 0ne wh0 called y0u t0 thew0rld is the same 0ne wh0 l0ves y0u and pr0mises y0u an abundant life. maybe y0u've hesitated t0 tell any0ne, including G0dwhat y0u l0nged f0r.maybe y0u're t0o sad 0r t0o embarrassed 0r afraid. trusting Him with y0u 0wn dreams is 0ne way t0 delight Him; He w0nt let y0u d0wn; and as y0u see what y0u can d0, y0ur h0pe will revive.

WHAT IF THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TRUE LOVE???

*this is actually a line i picked out from a movie (i just can't seem to remember which one)...i just find it very genuine and beautiful

we all have bee in l0ve
but we never kn0w if its true l0ve until it's 0ver
s0, what if theres n0 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5
what if theres n0 such thing as true l0ve???
we are just afraid t0 admitt it
s0, we keep 0n dressing up
we keep 0n being s0mething that we're n0t
l0sing 0urself is s0mething that we h0pe
is better that what we think we are.

NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS

Like every0ne else, i'm passing thr0ugh life as carefully as i can, watching my steps as i g0. However, there are times when we f0rget that n0t everything is as it seems t0 be. You see y0ur b0yfriend 0r girlfriend every 0ther day. You watch y0ur y0unger siblings play and s0metimes y0u j0in them. And as usual, y0u hear elders nagging y0u. Strange as it may s0und, there will be time when y0u will c0me t0 wish y0u c0uld hear it all 0ver again, watch the kids play s0mem0re 0r even listen t0 th0se sweet n0things fr0m y0ur l0ver. But theres n0 turning back t0 time. I have l0st my dear 0nes al0ng the way. The realisati0n that they w0uld n0t be ar0und f0r my birthday 0r when I g0t my real driving license 0r even t0 pr0udly see me graduate is painful t0 accept. I have seen cl0se friends walk in and 0ut 0f my life, leaving a wh0le mark in my heart. i have learnt that everything is n0t as it seems t0 be.
0n the surface, everything maybe perfect but y0u never quite grasp h0w perfect it is until y0u get t0 the nitty gritty 0f the situati0n. Breaking up, making upand then breaking up again. I had a bestfriend, but as time went by, s0 did my best friend, he & she f0und s0me0ne better. I never realised that I was n0t g0od en0ugh. Nothing is ever what it seems t0 be. With every passing day, I tell myself that i have t0 let pe0ple i care f0r and l0ve kn0w h0w i feel ab0ut them. Be it my br0ther, m0ther, sister, father 0r my friends. Letting them kn0w that they are l0ved is imp0rtant. and yet there are times when I have failed t0 d0 s0and the regret is s0o great. Never assume that th0se wh0 are dear t0 y0u kn0w that y0u l0ve them. S0metimes, a little reminder can make a huge difference in 0ne's life. It 0nly takes a c0uple 0f minutes t0 express y0ur feelings but it will carry y0ur l0ved 0nes a mile thr0ugh life. We hear this s0 0ften but trust me, y0u may never kn0w if there is a t0m0rr0w f0r this pers0n and sh0uld y0u miss the 0ppurtunity, the regret is s0o great.
What w0uld be better; t0 say th0se simple w0rds that brings great meaning 0t t0 h0ld 0nt0 w0rds and regret it f0r a lifetime. Regret never brings any benefit- 0nly pain and s0rr0w. So, why wait when y0u can say it n0w? why p0stp0ne till t0m0rr0w? What can y0u 0u d0 t0day? Why wait when y0u kn0w that time waits f0r n0 man?? Why wait at all?

BEAUTY OF A WOMAN

The beauty of a woman:
Is not in the clothes she wears,the figure that she carries,
or the way she combs her hair,
or the style she does make up.
The beauty of a woman:
must be seen in her Hijab,
and hereyes,because that is the doorway to herheart,
the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman:
is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman,
is reflected in her soul.
The beauty of woman is in her modesty.
And the real glamour of her is herhonesty.
It is the caring that she lovinglygives,
the passion that she shows.
And the beauty of a woman,
with passing years - only grows!

MY SIS @ NONGKOI IS COMING BACK...YEAY!!!!~

me cant wait...weeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
my sister will be coming back home from indonesia on the 24th of july...and the "cherry on top of the ice cream" is that she will buy me a bottle of perfume!!! me soooooooooooooooo happy....
i have missed her soooo much..i missed her babbling, her......and everything...i just missed my sister...thats all!!! nongkoii...i miss you!!

CURSE THE GOD DAMN H1N1!!!!

hye...i am still pissed off by the fact that the taaruf week for this july is being shortened up to two and a half days only...and initially, it was for 4 days...how pampered these people want the new students to be???i still remember back then, my orientation week was for 7 days and as far as students' health are concerned, i am still living, i am still putting on weight, and apparently i am now typing for my blog!!! i really have no idea what is the agenda behind this whole mess but my gut is telling me that it is not good for the future. Owh well...its their decision, they are the ones who are going to live with it for the rest of their entire life....screw you guys!!! and the best part is, the reason behind the shortening of the duration is that it is as a precaution for the swine flu that has the whole world jolt up...like hello~ if the administration are saying that the scourge will only attack people just during the night...my translation would be, the admin people are even more stupid than they appeared to be...an endemic will always be an endemic regardless of the timing!! people can still be attacked during the hot scorching aftrenoon or even early in the morning....i dont see the need of the medical checkupS that everyone have been organizing if the duration of the taaruf week is still going to be cut to less than 3 days...as for international students, they have to go thru 2 levels of medical checkups; that is the moment they arrived here in malaysian airport and here in Gombak...as far as i am concerned and my searching, the results did came out and they were all clean!!! arrghhhh~
i was and still am really upset with the decisions being made without our prior notice...i get that they are our superiors but cant they just consider the fact that we are the ones who have handled the programs for a few semesters now and we are the ones who are with experience here!!! the way the treated us, i feel like we are just the people who only execute the "donkey jobs" and they are the ones who will get all the credits out of all our sweats and exhaustion....YES!!! WE ARE THE UNSUNG HEROES...let them get all the credits that they want and apparently "deserve"....and i have heard that other universities have already executed their orientation week and i heard nothing about cancellation of slots or shortening of durations???? again, "conspiracy theory" over there...and also, i kinda pitty the new student committees who just join the program for the first time...i know that they expected more the moment the received the news that they are one of the student committee, but hey!!~ the power is not in my hands to make any form of decisions...i am just the donkey who has been asked to do all the dirty and exhausting job...a plague will always be a plague regardless of the time, place and circumstances...all of this is just because of the swine flu or in other words known as the H1N1 virus...curse the swine flu!!